The Unexpected

2019, you’re over. I’m not sure whether I’m relieved or feel content. 2019, you brought along new things for me. I got tattoos, I became more independent, I became stronger, I became more determined, and I faced internal problems that I had to deal with. There were problems and confusion but there were a lot of good moments.

Most importantly, 2019 brought along big change for me in my life. I got to go back home. I got to go back to New York City. I got to go back to my country. I now have established my American identity. I miss the city. I miss Michigan. It was very hard for me to leave Michigan. I left behind good people and a good life. I rediscovered myself in Michigan. I got to reconnect with my true self. Now that I’m in Malta, I am trying to keep this up. I know I will because after Michigan, I am now me. I am a me that doesn’t feel a lot of societal pressure. A me that is raw and pure. A me that doesn’t give a damn about people and I love it. A me that wears whatever the hell I want. Leaving New York for the second time was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life. I will admit, it has been a few days now but I’m still homesick. The first three nights were absolutely horrible. I was a complete mess. Christmas just didn’t come for me. I miss the life I had there. However, I’m still going to uphold it. I am American and free. 2019, you gave me that. 2020, you’re just a continuation.

2020, we have a lot of work to do and I’m ready. Hopefully, I will have completed another book in a few months. Of course, I need to travel at least twice this upcoming year. I just need to get off this island and be on a plane.

Even though you might have plans, you cannot do things alone. Sometimes we need a hug. Sometimes we need someone to hear us yell our heads off and kick the wall (thank you Alea!). Sometimes we need to talk about our problems instead of pushing them down. We need to support each other. You never know what people are going through. 2019, thank you for these lessons.

What really impresses me is that the year is going to be 2020, a new decade. Let’s see what the 2020’s are going to be all about. I already know where I’m going to be in 2030. I have plans because, of course, I’m a huge planner, however there will be unexpected things. There always is. That’s called LIFE. It is the decisions we make that make up who we are and what we want. Trying to expect the unexpected is wasting time. Let things happen but work towards your goal.

Happy New Year Everyone and have a goo’ one!

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