It’s been five days since I landed on the Maltese Islands and those who know me would know that I have a complicated relationship with Malta.

Yet, for the first time ever, I’m genuinely OK with being in Malta.

I don’t hate it.

I’m glad that I can now get back to routine (and make money again after my pricey one-month trip) and yet I will admit, it’s weird being back to normal. When you’re traveling for that long, you forget certain things.

There are small things that bother me about Malta but don’t bother me like crazy like they used to such as: Gozitans being (too) loud, Maltese people with their cringey English accents, the potholes, the disorganization of street infrastructure and the heat.

My First Reaction

I’ve been asked multiple times “how does it feel to be back after one month traveling in the United States” and my response is honest every time; my first thought was “Omigosh, I’m in Malta” and my second thought was “What the hell am I doing here?”

I know my thoughts weren’t negative – Malta is not the problem anymore.

My reasoning was, “I was in New York fourteen hours ago and now I’m in Malta again. Fourteen hours is such a short amount of time. It’s not too far away – it’s only fourteen hours away.”

And it’s that thought that is making me not hate Malta.

Doing Things My Way

I know I am someone who tends to ask for advice a lot. I like hearing other people’s perspectives on life to learn more but deep down, I know what I want and how I feel.

Yet, I tend to take advice too much to heart and forget how I feel about things and what I want in life. I start to question myself too much and get overwhelmed. It’s in these frustrating moments of being overwhelmed that I’m not being rational – but rational me does know.

Although life is tough and we don’t always get what we want, we still have the choice of how to live within our situations.

And I want to make a conscience effort to do things my way – whatever way that is.

I may be crazy for wanting to live in New York.

I know some people who live in New York and know the harsh realities of rent probably think I’m not aware enough but the thing is, I don’t want to let such “harsh realities” deter me from trying – because when you try, there’s the possibility of making it work and being successful.

If thousands of New Yorkers can manage to live in New York, so can I.

I do appreciate advice, but I guess, I just need to stick to my stubbornness.

My heart has always been set on moving to New York. When and how, I don’t know. I do know that it won’t be easy.

But for now, I’m good being in Malta.